Melissa (octoberscorpio) wrote,

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talk shows

I've been going to the gym every day lately (yay!), and they of course have TVs set up near the exercise machines. Therefore I have had the dubious pleasure of watching what the other people at the gym enjoy. Usually it's set to MTV (*retch*) or ESPN, but often it's set to a talk show.

This has pretty much solidified my dislike of talk shows. I simply don't get it. First of all, why do these people even *have* talk shows? Why the hell do I care what Megan Mullally or Kelly Ripa have to say? *They* don't even have clue one what the hell they're talking about. And the shit that comes out of their mouths makes me cringe. It's so completely and blatantly fake, and there's no actual interest or intelligence involved.

My favorite quote to date:
Megan Mullally: "Are you from So-and-so, California?"
Blithering Idiot: "I am from So-and-so, California!"

WHAT. THE FUCK. I can't even wrap my brain around that one.

Another thing about talk shows. The guest comes in, and the host and guest have this fairly long conversation about shit that the audience is totally disconnected from. I feel like I'm eavesdropping on a private conversation. And they say things that are tantamount to inside jokes; I would guess maybe 10% of the audience has any idea what's going on. This morning was a charmer - Martha Stewart making cocktails at 10am with her guest, Rupert Everett. Everett actually had some interesting things to say - eventually. But the first 5-8 minutes that Everett was on screen, he and Martha Stewart were gabbing away about their experiences in Brazil. And it wasn't like, "Oh this isn't so bad, obviously the producer wants them to plug Brazil, they're just trying to get people to fly down there." No, it was definitely more of a "you had to be there" moment.

Martha Stewart: "We had piranha every night."
Rupert Everett: "Every night? No kidding. Did they do it with the stick?"
Martha Stewart: "No, with the bucket."

Thank you, you two, for proving that you're only doing this to be on TV.

What it boils down to is... Why have a talk show if you have NOTHING TO SAY?

Agh. I... I just can't. Agh. Brain hurts.

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